Recently I was given the opportunity to attend a family retreat. Our aim as advisors was to prepare a family charter.
When I entered this opportunity, I saw so many potential problems, disengaged family members, a family member saying if we decide something I don’t like, I will just continue with my own way anyway. I honestly believed no matter what the process, it wasn’t going to work. The retreat really opened my eyes and showed me, be aware of the negatives but don’t allow them to overshadow the potential upside. The fact that everyone has turned up, is a huge step in the right direction.
It was incredible to read all the different personalities and to try to understand each person. So many lessons were learnt in the process:
- The process is long and detailed but it’s worth it. By the end everyone is familiar with you and comfortable to talk.
- There is more value in the process itself than the end document.
- Don’t be turned off by people not being engaged in the first meeting, at the end once trust is built, they can be the one who holds it together.
- It is always beneficial to have 2 people in each meeting as often the person running the meeting is focussed on where we are heading and not always listening to what is being said along the way.
- Ensure you are always listening, it’s often the little things that will guide you on the true issues.
- Be mindful of people who aren’t answering your questions, they are not fully engaged at that stage and are telling you what they think you want to hear.
- Be willing to go back to the beginning, often when you discuss family values at the beginning the family members aren’t really giving it a lot of thought but at the end of the process they are quite engaged and have a lot to contribute.
- Watch for fatigue. Once fatigue sets in, it is worth stopping and resuming the next day.
- Incorporating a family dinner in your retreat is worthwhile. Even if the discussions during the day are not discussed it does remind everyone why they are in business together and that they do sincerely enjoy one another’s company.
The business we recently worked with had been discussing a business opportunity for 2 years but we were unable to come to a decision. They had no voting mechanism so if one person wasn’t on board, nothing happened. The management team were frustrated, the owners were all frustrated. We incorporated and spent time on a decision making framework and what percentage of owners had to be for a general resolution and special resolution for it to be passed and what decisions required 100% to proceed. The family members were interested in the facilitators own experiences to learn from and create a framework. The family members advised their next meeting using the framework allowed many decisions that had been pending for years to be decided and agreed.
The main lesson learnt was the value isn’t in the end document, it is in the process. The retreat facilitated open communication and got everyone on the same page. The time away from the business to remind the family members why they are in business together.
If you are in a family business and have never considered a family charter, find out more by contacting me today on ktaylormartin@gmail.com.